


Trust

by Somniare



Category: Lewis (TV)
Genre: Episode: s06e01 The Soul of Genius, First Kiss, M/M, Mostly Dialogue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-26
Updated: 2014-05-26
Packaged: 2018-01-26 14:57:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1692479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Somniare/pseuds/Somniare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Robbie asks James about Liv Nash.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trust

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to my BR. As always, it's been tweaked since return. All errors are mine.
> 
> The seed for this story was planted a long time ago after a conversation with sundarapadma about James and Liv Nash.

 

* * *

 

 

It’s been a long and somewhat draining week but now they’re on the cusp of two days off and a proper weekend.  They’ve handed the Hawes brothers’ murder case over to CPS, and Robbie has assured himself that Michelle Marber will be all right.  Of course, he’ll still check on her occasionally; he doesn’t like the idea of anyone being truly alone and adrift.   
  
He opens the second bottle of wine – James has already accepted an offer to stay the night – refills their glasses and wanders over to the couch.  He hands one glass to James and sinks into the seat beside him.  
  
They sit in an easy silence.  The movie they want to watch doesn’t start for another half an hour, and neither is interested filling the time with anything else.  Peripheral events during the case have been playing in the back of Robbie’s mind, and this seems as good a time as any to sort them through.  He’s not sure how it’ll go though.  As a rule, he and James don’t talk about... things... and if James chooses not to answer, then that will be that.  
  
“Nice lass that Liv Nash.”  
  
“Possibly.”  
  
“She seemed to take a shine to you.”  
  
“Perhaps.”  
  
“How many lasses are you going to meet who could talk Latin to you?”  
  
“This is Oxford; I suspect a fair few.”  
  
“Will you be seeing her again?”  
  
“I doubt it now the case is closed.”  
  
“Ah.”  
  
“What’s that supposed to mean?”  
  
“Yet another person falls short of the mark on the Hathaway scale.”  
  
James’s head turns slowly towards him.  “The _what?_ ”  
  
“That by which you seem to measure all potential partners.”  
  
“I do not...”  
  
“Well, it’s either too extensive, or filled with impossibly high ideals because nobody seems to get too far past ‘hello’ with you.”  
  
James gapes at him.  
  
“What made Fiona different?  How did she get you to, you know...?”  
  
“Why are we having this discussion?” James asks.  
  
Robbie doesn’t respond.  Instead he chooses to watch and wait.  James is puzzled and Robbie fully expects him to change the subject.  Robbie admits to himself he’s surprised when James sighs, a note of resignation in his breath, and answers the question.  
  
“Fiona was a gamble on my part.  I broke my own rules and I was bitten.  I won’t let that happen again.”  
  
“Rules?  So you do have rules about who you see?”  
  
“I suppose they’re guidelines more than rules, but after Fiona...”  
  
“And how does Liv Nash fall short of these ‘guidelines’?”  
  
“The issue of Murray Hawes notebook.”  James is emphatic.  “I ran into Ms Nash when I went for the shopping for Mrs Marber.  She was skittish, and took off when I spoke to her.  I thought it was something _I’d_ said or done, but now I know it was because she knew about the notebook and hadn’t told us.  Had Connor Hawes not been killed we may never have heard about it.  Quite simply, I wouldn’t be able to trust her.  I can’t be with someone if I don’t trust them.”  
  
Robbie nods.  He can understand that.  Relationships can survive a lot of things but without trust they’re doomed.  
  
“Anything else that’s important to you?”  
  
James looks at Robbie and is clearly deciding whether or not to continue the discussion.  
  
“Integrity, honesty, faithfulness, kindness,” he says finally.  
  
Robbie’s eyebrows go up.  “Is that all?”  It’s not a long list, nor a particularly unusual one.  In fact, Robbie thinks they’re all essential to a strong, healthy relationship, at least in his book.  
  
“No, there’re more, but...”  
  
“But?”  
  
“They’re not quite as important, and they don’t become a factor unless I’m...”  James drains his glass and stares at an undefined point on the ceiling.  
  
“In a relationship?” Robbie finishes.  James nods.  “But the others have to be there before you’ll even consider...?  
  
James’s sigh is all the answer Robbie needs.  
  
“James...”  Robbie sighs inwardly.   _Why does the lad have to make things so damned hard for himself?_   “You’ve set the bar pretty high.  For all you know the right person’s walked in and out of your life already because you didn’t give them the chance to show they could... meet the criteria.”  
  
“Why does this bother you so much?”  
  
Robbie is forced to be honest.  He knows James will see through any attempt on his part to evade the question.  “Because I care about you being happy.”  
  
James is quiet for several minutes.  Robbie understands the expression on his face; James is debating with himself.  _Best let him sort through it.  
_  
James glances at Robbie.  “They haven’t walked out, though the fact that they’re still in my life often astounds me.  I’ve been the antithesis of what I want on too many occasions to mention, yet they’re still around and don’t look like they’re going anywhere soon.”  
  
“There _is_ someone?”  
  
James nods and stares into his empty glass.  
  
“Do I know them?”  
  
“You’ve... met.  More wine?”  James heads to the kitchen without waiting for an answer and returns with the opened bottle.  He refills their glasses, returning the bottle to the worktop before he sits down again.  “Didn’t want to leave a ring on the table,” he says by way of explanation.  Robbie suspects he was really giving himself some time to think.  
  
Robbie waits for a moment before he speaks again.  “Do they have any idea how you feel about them?”  
  
“I don’t know.  Sometimes I think so, but...”  
  
“You could ask them you know. What’s the worst that could happen?”  
  
James sighs and puts his glass on the table.  “Nothing.  Everything.”  
  
“Would either be so bad?  At least you’d have an answer.”  
  
“And most likely nothing more to hope for.”  
  
“Or everything to gain.”  James stays silent.  Robbie continues softly.  “Laura once told me someone doesn’t know how you feel about them until you tell them.”  
  
“Then they’ll never know.”  There’s an air of finality in James’s tone.  
  
“Are you sure about that?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“Pity.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
“I’d like the meet the person who met all your criteria–”  
  
“Please don’t call it that,” James murmurs.  
  
“What would you like me to call it?”  
  
“Standards?”    
  
Robbie bites back his smile at the slight cringe in James’s voice.  _Silly bugger._ “Okay,” he says slowly.  “I’d like to meet the person who came up to your standards from the beginning.”  
  
“Then you’ll be disappointed – they didn’t.  Not at first.  I didn’t know them well enough.”  
  
“You got to know them though?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“Well, if you can do it for one person, why not another?”  
  
“I don’t...”  James slumps forward, his elbows digging into his knees.  
  
“Go on,” Robbie encourages.  
  
“I don’t want there to be another.”    
  
Robbie just catches the whispered words.  He leans a little closer, pressing his shoulder to James’s.  “He must be pretty special to have gained your loyalty and devotion, and bloody stupid not to see it.”  
  
“Yes, he is, and don’t call–  Who said anything about ‘he’?”  James is nonplussed.  
  
“I think you just did,” Robbie murmurs.  
  
James reclaims his glass and swirls the contents, the red liquid coming dangerously close to the rim.  “So now you know my secret.  I like men.  I like women, too, but I’d rather...”  James pours the last of his wine down his throat.  Robbie wonders if it’s the tannins or the bitterness of his words which makes James grimace.  The glass lands on the coffee table with a soft ‘chink’.  
  
“James, why are you so hard on yourself,” Robbie says gently.  James shrugs.  “You’re not the only bloke on the planet who’s ever felt that way.  I sometimes wonder where I’d be today if I hadn’t met Val when I did.  Newcastle in the seventies wasn’t a place to be... different.”  
  
James stares at him in astonishment.  “You... were...?”  
  
“Are.  Some things don’t really change, lad.”  
  
“And Va– your wife?”  
  
“You can call her Val.”  He gives James’s knee a gentle squeeze, smiling as James’s eyes grow even rounder.  “She knew.  She also knew I loved her with all my heart, mind, and body.  See, that’s me; I only know how to love with everything I am.  I can’t give just a part of me to someone.  If you want me, and I’m agreeable, you get all of me.”  
  
“I see,” James says breathlessly, and twists in his seat, turning his body towards Robbie.  
  
“Do you?”  
  
“You’ll correct me if I’m wrong?”  As James begins to lean forward, one hand comes to rest on Robbie’s thigh.  “Are you agreeable?”  
  
Robbie nods.  “If you want me.”  He thinks the words make the journey from his head to his mouth, but it doesn’t really matter, and all his remaining thoughts are stolen as James’s lips meet his.


End file.
